Soul in Isolation

For years I’ve had this issue. In online gaming, and the surrounding, supporting communities, I make friends real easy. I’m always enthusiastic to take part. I’m always ready to chip in, help out and converse. Thus, I have literally hundreds (and hundreds) of gaming associates.

But the issue is, that my gaming tastes are so wide, often very niche, and so changeable, that I take part in many communities but in short irregular sessions. This simple fact, doesn’t work out well for all concerned. I am at the whim of my gaming moods, and so is my ability to play with others.

Since I’m not a permanent reliable fixture in each individual community, I probably come across as a bit flakey, a transient if you will. So I don’t form any long term strong bonds with people in these communities. I show up, I’m there for a few weeks, excited and commenting, and then I’m off pursuing some other online gaming shiny bauble in another community.

The variables in this ongoing disaster plot, seem to be:

  1. My unpredictable whimsy
  2. The genre or niche
  3. The particular game
  4. My availability
  5. The community’s availability (reliable friendly people, convenient play times, timezones)

The problem seems to start with the spectrum of games I’m willing to get excited about and actively pursue. Then, desperate to enjoy a particular genre or game online with others, I actively seek out a mature, friendly community connected to that. Then I expend a lot of meta time introducing myself, discussing the games, settling in. Then the fight you have with scheduling online time with others usually ends in defeat. The people barely know me, I barely know them.. and meanwhile other games are releasing and becoming more and more enticing.

I’m not a flitting butterfly, I stick it out usually and stay in the communities. But some of them are real big, difficult to become familiar with folks, and with a propensity to try and take active part in so many communities, you end up taking very little part in any of them.

I’m a chameleon who shifts his skin colour over time, and crawls between feeding zones in a slow determined manner. But shift my skin I do.

The irony is, that you’re digitally hooked into thousands of players, buzzing and frothing about the latest games in their genre (which just adds to the fervour), but ultimately you’re all alone in a world of online gaming. Soloing MMO’s. Sitting in multiplayer hubs without anyone remotely knowable to hook up with.

Solo-ing isolation.

Randoms and pickup groups become the norm, and the awkward silence and incompatibilities often throw question over the whole pursuit.

I haven’t got a solution.

I think my natural state is incompatible with online gaming, and I’m sure the communities I’m in, think I’m a shirking absent lightweight half the time, often babbling on about something totally unrelated to the communities core topic.

If only I could be content with one game genre, one community, one game even?

I could confine my gaming pursuits to a particular genre or platform or community, and just get on with it.

I’ve always thought the wide spectrum of interest was a bonus, a positive thing, but where online gaming with others is concerned it seems to be a diversified obstruction to getting any actual gaming enjoyment out of it all.

Miserable old man, always trying to drag others into his pursuits of the moment. Then bailing a few weeks down the line for another pursuit. Coming back in waves, when no-one else is there, or no-one knows who you are anyway…

Soul in Isolation.

When you think on it
We’re all souls in isolation
I’m alive in here
I’m alive



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